Tuesday, April 01, 2008

My Swag is on 10 my skillz are on 0

My Swag is on 10 my skillz are on 0, but who cares my penis always smells like hot cooney
“MAN THAT DUDE IS SO TIGHT, DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID, HE WAS LIKE I GET MONEY AND YALL DUDES BROKE, I CAN’T BELIEVE HE SAID THAT, THAT’S SO ORGINIAL.
“AWW SHIT DO YOU SEE THAT NIGGAS JEANS, THAT’S MY FAVORITE (INSERT RAPPER/ DJ/ PRODUCER HERE) DAMN HIS SHOES IS MATCHING HIS JEANS DAMN HE IS TIGHT”


These are terms you might have heard or you might have said when watching , listening to or mentioning your favorite ( insert rapper/d.j./ producer here). I don’t want to go into a rant about the go old days when rappers were indentured servants and cared about skill. Instead I want to focus on YOU. I want YOU to learn something in this blog entry, editorial etc. I will break it down into easy steps .
Step-one (no pun intended)


If your favorite artist has ed hardy, true religion etc. apparel you can get it to, With this new thing that the government invented called MONEY. Did you know that with this new thing called MONEY you can buy these things and be exactly on the same swag level or your favorite (rapper/ d.j./ producer). I know its hard to believe that with money anyone can buy these shoes or clothing and have the swag level on 10 and there skills on 0. Also Don’t worry about if its real or not cause your favorite (rapper/D.j./ Producer) doesn’t .


1A. This is just a extra point. Did you know that your favorite (rapper/D.j,/ producer) is not
The first one to wear ed hardy or true religion, they stole it from some dude in Europe
Who was wearing it first. So if you want extra swag points, look up whats popping in
Europe now, so you can be the first one wearing it here in the USA. Please use discretion when doing this because people will laugh at you at first and say
Things like, “what the fuck are you wearing” I’m going to stab you bitch”


Step-two

If your favorite (insert/ d.j./ rapper) says things like, “I get money” “Nigga I’m fresh as fuck” “I get pussy all day”. Did you know that you can say that to all you have to do is open your mouth. I know that’s very hard for YOU but believe me its not as hard as you think. All you have to do is brag about stuff you don’t have or talk down on someone else or if you are really bold both. For example. “NIGGA I GOT STACKS ON DECK OR YALL NIGGAS STILL ROCKING E NYCE THAT’S TERRIBLE OR MAN NIGGA MY SWAG IS SO HIGH AND YALL BOYS ARE WEAK COPY MY SWAG FUCKY CHUCKY BOYS. Keep this in mind people love to hear about, money, violence and cooney (vagina), and the more ignorant that you do all three the more people will like you.


Step-Three

If you can do these 2 things you will honestly become someone’s favorite rapper, producer, d.j. etc. Don’t worry about the fact that you can’t rap, hell most rappers can’t rap. If I were you I wouldn’t even worry about rhyming words, I would just throw on a beat and say shit like, Nigga my swag is high, you swag is low, I just bought some ed hardy jeans, that makes me better then you, you girlfriend lick my dick and I havent washed my balls in 3 days cause my true religion jeans have this thing in them that keeps them clean. That can be a verse right there. If you want to be a d.j. don’t worry about scratching and mixing. I don’t even think you need to know how to turn on a turntable just say NIGGA I’M THE BEST, IM TIGHT ASS FUCK DO YOU SEE MY SHOES THERE PRADA. Then drop your track and people will be like, “AWW SHIT HE IS RAW, DAMN MAN I GOT HOME AND MASTERBAUT TO HIS SKILLS CAUSE HE IS SO RAW AWW MAN AWW MAN IN MY MOUTH (pause and no homo that last statement)”
I
n conclusion I quote the great Dr. Martin Luther King. Fuck you niggas I’m going to Canada .

-Step

1 comment:

Chris said...

o wow step one....u went out on that one...but that was a good post because its too damn true